My Baby Fix

Mark, Lori and the babies came to see us this past week.  What a wonderful surprise to learn that they were coming in the dead of winter for a short visit.  They came on Monday and left on Friday but we packed as much hugs, love and kisses as possible into those short, few days. Deke and Mark even got in some paragliding.  It was a wonderful time to play with Clay-Bo and hold little JM.

Little JM

Smiling JM

Absolutely adorable pic of C and JM

C-Bear ready to play in the snow

Playing with Daddy

Making the most of the snow day

Can it get any more precious?

Nana and JM

Wearing Emily's Rothschild coat and hat

Final picture of the family before they left to go home

Schussing

Wednesday afternoon we left Indiana for Wisconsin to go snow skiing. Amber and Austin (our youth pastor and his wife) were able to get away too, so we headed north on a beautiful sunny day. Fortunately, the next day was equally as beautiful as we arrived at Granite Peak near Wausau to ski.

We feared the skiing would be rinky-dink and boring, but were we amazed! The area was beautiful and the slopes couldn't have been better. Hardly a soul was there, as it was a mid-week school day, but by the time we finished up our ski day at 4:00, the crowds started arriving. Never had to wait for a lift and the skies were deep blue with virtually no wind or extreme cold.

 Some of the runs were challenging for us intermediate skiers, but mostly we just stayed on the blues and enjoyed the scenery. Deke and I thought we would be tired and winded, due to our age and the fact that we aren't exactly in condition. But we amazed ourselves with our stamina. Even when Amber and I stopped skiing, Deke and Austin went on schussing down the slopes another hour or so. Deke acted like a 20 year old!

Needless to say, we had a great time with these two 20-somethings, and we are looking forward to future skiing with our kids and their families. In fact, we're in the planning stages for that right now.

Amber and I preparing for the slopes

Schussing down the hill (l-r) Cindy, Deke, Amber)

Pausing to rest

On the lift

Cuties

Goofing around

Dancing for G-pa

WEL GLRY

 

Mama Jo has gone home to glory!

There were many people who came to say their good-byes, sent cards, letters, and loving words of comfort. My Sunday school class absolutely showered us with food stuff, so much so, that two refrigerators and 3 freezers could hardly contain the meals.


Mom's service was especially beautiful and poignant. We three kids and most of the grandchildren spoke about her, and Deke conducted the service. Five of the grandchildren sang a song that was especially meaningful to Mom. I think it perfectly honored Mom and glorified the Lord. She's home, her memory is restored and her new body is once again in motion. In fact, Natalie mentioned that she's probably on duty polishing the pearly gates!


Mom knew the Lord and was ready to go home. She suffered for 4 years after an encephalitis attack that left damaged the part of her brain that controls memory. Much like Alzheimer's but this happened within 4 hours. Over the four years, Mom turned into this docile, agreeable, lovely, happy, contented creature who drew people with her love. Had a perpetual smile on her face. Her constant mantra: "Have I told you today that I love you?"


We will miss her but she's home and I'm happy for her. As Deke and I were driving onto the OH interstate trying to get home the morning after learning she had died, the first car to pass us had the license plate "WEL GLRY." It was a note from the Lord to me saying, "Hey, Mama Jo and I are here, and have We told you today that We love you?"

WELL GLORY!!!

The New Normal

Thought maybe you'd like to know what's happening with Mom.

After talking with the physical therapist at the Rossville nursing home, he made it very clear that baring a miracle, Mom would never return to assisted living.  I immediately set into motion the steps to transfer her to the St Elizabeth facility in Delphi.  I had two reasons for that decision: Although I loved the assisted living facility and staff in the Rossville Healthcare unit, I absolutely got the willies when in the regular nursing side and would never, under any circumstance, leave Mom there.  Secondly, the Delphi St Elizabeth Healthcare facility is beautiful, close to home, and has an Indiana Consumer Healthcare rating of 5 out of 5.  Rossville has a 1 out of 5.

Last Friday, after working in the church office the whole week, Deke and I moved Mom to Delphi.  We got as much furniture as possible from her apartment in the van then gathered up Mom's things in her nursing care room and scooted her out the door. She was dehydrated and zombie-like, but with our assistance, was able to get into our van for the trip.  She moaned most of the way.  The nurses at Delphi were expecting her and helped to get her settled in her room. Deke stayed with her through the admittance procedure of taking vitals etc while I filled out the paperwork.  When all was done, I asked that a tray be brought for her dinner.  She ate like she hadn't eaten in days.

The next day, Deke and I made two more trips to Rossville to clear out Mom's apartment. Emotionally, it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. By that time I had grown accustomed to the idea that Mom was on the next phase of her life, and this was the new normal.

She has settled in to her new digs quite well, and I am thrilled at the care she is receiving. I see her most days and find her calm and resting.  I was able to see her Dr's physician assistant one day as he was making his rounds, and it was decided that Mom should receive some stronger pain med for her back.  She had been on a regimen on Tylenol for years, but it wasn't working any longer. Yesterday, when I was with Mom, she didn't complain once about back pain.

So this is the beginning of another phase of our lives.  Without getting maudlin and overly-dramatic, it feels like it looks outside: cold, wet, overcast and gray.  However, I know from faith and experience that spring is coming for all of us.  One of these days the sun will shine again and there won't be a cloud in the sky. Mom is gonna love that day when she sees the Son and is wrapped in the warm blanket of love.  But until then, we will trust that He knows what He's doing, and we will rest in the Son's plan.

Nothing ever stays the same. This is our new normal.

MOM

I got a phone call late Friday night, the day after Thanksgiving.  "Your mom has fallen out of bed and has some bruising on her left arm plus some scratches on her finger and nose. Just wanted you to know."  A few hours later I got almost the same message again, and then before we could get to the assisted living facility, she had fallen for the third time.

"We think she has had a stroke.  Do you want to send her to the hospital?" No, I don't want her sent to the hospital again.  That's where we went the last time this happened and after they had stuck her 14 times trying to get in the IV, I had to leave the room.  And all of that for the Dr to tell me that she had suffered yet another TIA, and even though this one didn't take her life, each one was like the rumbling of a volcano before the big eruption.  So we had another rumbling.  This one struck her right side causing her right leg and arm to flop around uselessly.  No grip and no support to stand well.

I made the decision to stay with her that night.  She moaned constantly. "Mom, where does it hurt?"  She complains of pain in her left rib area.  During the wee hours of the morning she calls for her mom.  I tell her that her mom is in heaven.  This is an unbelievable revelation.

"Why can't I feel my arm?"

Because you've had a stroke.

"Why can't I remember that?"

Because a few years ago you suffered a virus that took your memory.

"How long have I been out of it?"

Four years.

"Where's my family?"  I begin with myself and my siblings then tell her about Dad then to all of her relatives who have died. We move on to the grandchildren and their children. "You said Bob died 10 years ago but I've been out of it for 4 years.  Why can't I remember Bob dying?"  What's this?  Are we having a lucid conversation after years of repetitious story-telling?  I sleep a total of 3 interrupted hours.

The next morning X-rays were taken to see if there was some breakage.  The X-rays come back that afternoon saying all is well.

My blessed husband stays with Mom while I go home in the early afternoon to try to sleep.  I try, but I only get 3 hours. When I return, Deke  goes home to prepare to teach my adult Sunday School class in the morning.  Mom and I begin another night together.  I drag the sofa cushion onto the floor and sleep in my clothes again.  The moaning starts at 10:00PM.  At midnight-thirty, she screams, "Something's in bed with me!"  I soon figure out that it's her paralyzed arm. There's no feeling in it.  She continues in her agitated state, and then I hear her say, "OH, help me.  I want to do the right thing."

"What is it Mom?"  She has to use the commode.  Fortunately, the nurses had brought in a portable unit.  I pull the nurse's call cord and an hour later we have Mom in bed again.

"Why can't I feel my arm? What's wrong with my leg? Where are you, Mom? I want my mom."

The next morning we all come to the conclusion that she can no longer stay in assisted living. However, we'll keep this room on the chance that physical therapy will bring her around. We begin the paperwork, and by 3:00PM everything is ready to take Mom to "the other side."  I look around her room for what may be the last time and am amazed that tears well up in my eyes.  We pass 5 or 6 residents playing cards, but I can hardly see them through my tears. We pass through the double doors into the regular nursing home side and my heart falls.  It's not carpeted, it's not homey, it's not bright nor cheery.  I push Mom in the wheelchair into her new room and am greeted by the blasting of her roommate's TV.  The curtain is drawn between the beds, much like hospital rooms of old. It takes me about 2 minutes to put her clothes in her closet and arrange her toiletries.  The orderly brings in Mom's platform rocker and we get her situated. She starts rocking.  Her eyes are closed and she has that perpetual smile on her face.  I sit opposite her in the wheelchair with tears running down my face.  I try to stop, but it feels like that feeling when I dropped off my kids for the first day of school. But this is my mom, and we've switched rolls.

The only thing that sustains me is the conversation I had with the Lord just after Mom had her stroke. I was standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror when I said out loud, "Lord, help me. I don't know what to do."

It was that still small voice that said to me, "Yes, you do."

I answered, "I do?"

Quite clearly He said, "Trust Me." I almost laughed out loud.  Why, that's so simple.  Of course that's what I need to do.  I don't need to know "the plan."  I need to trust Him.  So I'll follow the Jones family verse that has taken us through at least 2 generations:  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

Family Thanks

Eight of us gathered here for our Thanksgiving feast. After praying and eating some of us:

Slept

Socialized

Fiddled

Puzzled

But all had a good time