No Longer Mundane

I lost interest in blogging. I guess it came about with the difficulty of downloading pictures within this blog site, and my life just seemed so mundane and ordinary. Who cares about reading about Granny and her ordinary, mundane life?

This past month ordinary and mundane ran out the door. Our son, his wife and their three children came for a visit and never went home. While here, Lori, our son's wife, was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer metastasized to the bone.  We were totally blindsided and devastated.  For days we just cried. I think through the next weeks, we went through all of the grieving stages. But from the first words of diagnosis uttered to them, Lori and Mark have had a peace that passes all understanding. They truly are living the Christian witness, knowing that the One they serve is Master and Author of their lives.

Lori has a wonderful Dr in Indy. He is on the cutting edge of breast cancer research and is really into genome therapy. She is doing chemo every Monday (one week off each month) and just started her second rotation of three weeks. She is losing hair, but other than that, she is not really experiencing any horrible side affects. She will continue with the chemo for as long as it is working. Their visit yesterday with her Dr revealed that the breast tumor is shrinking. So until the chemo does not work any longer, they will not proceed with another protocol.

Mark's Air Force commander has been nothing short of spectacular. He flew here to IN the first week the diagnosis was made and has been a major support system for Mark and Lori. Their very close Air Force friend set up a fund that has gone over $25,000 to be used as needed. A couple of weeks ago, eight or nine couples from Mark's pilot training class of 10+ years ago, showed up here to love on and be with Mark and Lori. Precious time.

I have loved getting to know the three grandchildren. They are 4, 2 and 1.  They are just adorable, and we are getting to see some of the baby milestones that we would have missed otherwise. The baby is now taking steps, and maybe one day soon the 2 year old will be using the potty! 

This morning, I was listening to Mark and Lori as they were sitting at the piano playing and singing "Oceans (Where Feet May Fall)." Maybe you are familiar with this contemporary Christian song. I was having trouble catching all of the words so I Googled and came up with a blog site called James 1:27. In it the author listed the words to the song, then she jotted down some of her thoughts. As I read them I was crying, because the words penetrated deep within me. I will leave you with Holly Jo's words:

I am extremely intimidated by this song. If I sing these lyrics and mean it I am asking God to take me---where feet may fail and fear surrounds me. And take me where my trust is without borders. And take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.

Basically, I am asking God to take me into the darkest places. Bring me to the end of myself entirely. I am asking Him to take me to places my flesh would not naturally desire to go. Not only would I naturally not desire to go there, but could not physically go there without the power of God enabling me to do so.  Essentially, I am specifically asking God to bring me up against the impossible so that -- My faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.

And yet, as I listen to the words, my spirit yearns and agrees with every word. My heart longs for these truths to be made evident in my life. I desire to live a life like that. Let me make one thing clear. This is ONLY the evidence of Jesus in my life. He has truly taken my desires and transformed them to align with His. He has revealed Himself to be faithful and loving in ALL THINGS--seen and unseen. And I just cannot stop wanting to know more of that love. 

So, this is my heart. Completely abandoned. Knowing that what He asked me to do will absolutely be impossible to accomplish if attempted by the strength of my flesh alone. I will be completely reliant on Him alone. I will have to completely trust without borders in the sovereignty of God alone. Absolutely nothing else will sustain me. The world will probably  call me crazy. 

But I serve a sovereign loving God. So, in every hardship I face, when I come to a place where feet fail and fear surrounds me, I will declare--You've never failed and You won't start now. My soul will rest in Your embrace. For I am Yours and You are mine.